||[Aug. 5th, 2004|06:15 pm]
I have found a book.
Angel, City Of, it says on the cover, and on it was a shot of a young, handsome man and two others. One was a diminutive looking lad, while the other, a beautiful young woman.
Having nothing better to do, I had read it, and realized that this...Angel persona was companion to someone called a...vampire slayer.
Just the thought of it almost made me want to laugh. A young slip of a girl, a vampire slayer? Mortals just about came out with anything ridiculous these days.
Oh, well. If only for them to keep their eyes closed to what vampires really are. I flipped through the book idly, for want of something to do, and despite the writing style, I was intrigued by this character, someone who is so much like me, yet so different at the same time.
Vampires, in that story, are basically soulless, bloodthirsty and stupid beasts, and that analogy set my teeth on the edge. Made in the arms of a blond, beautiful vampire, he had proceeded to 'wreak havoc' on the world, so to speak, until he killed the wrong person and was cursed with a soul, which amused me to no end. Cursed with a soul? This vampire had no other powers save for enhanced speed and strength, and even then, it was no match for a real vampire.
I was made by the most powerful vampire who had ever resided in the City of Angels, gifted with the three Gifts, Cloud, Mind, and Fire, all of which I did not bother to use very much.
It was here that I saw the irony. He was made to come to Los Angeles, while I was made in that place, and the words that he said...
"Alive for 244 years. I thought I'd seen everything. Then I came to L.A."
That phrase made me laugh out loud. What use was a 244 year old vampire if he wasn't so well-exposed?
He was one of a kind, a good vampire, but not without a bloodied past, which, quite frankly, is not quite that much of a past at all, considering the things I had done in my earliest years.
But the regret, the guilt...it was all the same. It is only in the solitude of my abode that I would admit this to myself, that yes, the emptiness, the constant ache was indeed guilt. I would never admit it to anyone else.
And this Angel...this Angel had found love. When I had spoken with Bianca earlier, she had said that she wanted the love that Marius and Pandora had, which had gotten me thinking. I wanted something like that too, but I knew I would not ask.
I dared not.
Even as I wrote that sentence, I smiled at the irony. Serenity, not daring to do anything? This, indeed, was a first.
Nevertheless, I shall keep on reading. Despite it's juvenile theme, it's a fascinating piece of work.
A vampire who finds true love.